Odd Jobs

      It's Monday, Back to the grind after the fun and relaxation of the weekend, Monday. On the bright side, Listicles over at Stasha's. This week's topic is supplied by Varda at The Squashed Bologna, Top 10 Strange (odd, unusual,funny,interesting) Jobs you've had in your life.

    
     This should be a piece of cake, God knows I've worked at enough different places. This list can also include non paid jobs, things you were responsible for or oversaw and volunteer positions. That opens the field even wider. Here they are in no particular order.

1 Gladiolus Bulb Planter - The first paid job I ever had, I think I was about 12 or 13. Planting bulbs for my aunt and uncle at the greenhouse they owned. Ever planted an acre or two by hand? Fun times.

2 Crap Handler - This is a direct result of growing up on a farm, living in the country and having dairy farmers for both grandparents. I have an intimate relationship with shit. Cow, pig, sheep or my personal favourite poultry of any kind. I've shovelled it, spread it on fields, Hell, I've even worn it on occasion.
Perfect tie in to 3.

3 Vet's Assistant - By vet I mean my father, mother, grandparents, aunts and uncles. If you've got livestock, you've got to take care of them. I've helped deliver babies, given shots, pills, changed dressings, chopped off horns, tails and testicles (not to be confused with Listicles, subtle tie in, right Stasha?), snapped off teeth and just generally run around doing what I was told. The one thing I never had to do, thanks Dad, was put down an animal. My father always shouldered that responsibility.

4 Chicken Wrangler - That's right, as a kid my job (along with help from my cousins) was chasing/finding the chickens after their heads were removed. You've heard that expression " Running around like a chicken with their head cut off", I've lived it. One of my most vivid childhood memories is my cousin doubled over laughing as a chicken with no head kicked a soccer ball all over our yard. Good times, again.

5 Cowboy - I lived every kid's dream. Let me tell you, the dream is way more fun that the reality. We all had horses or ponies, everybody had cattle and no one had good fences. I've chased cattle all over Lanark county, on horseback and foot. I've been stepped on, kicked, run down, dragged and crushed between. The fun just never stopped I tell ya. It helped develop my colourful language skills.

6 Heavy Machine Operator -  I worked with my father for a year before venturing off to the city. Among other things I drove a dump truck and a grain combine. For whatever reason people never believe I grew up on a "real" farm. It was always fun seeing people's expressions from school as I drove one of the machines through town. I swear there was whiplash.

7 Park Ranger - Okay, ranger is overstating it. My mother was superintendent of one of the provincial parks and I worked with her. BEST JOB EVER. I spent a lot of the summer in a bathing suit cleaning the beach. Least favourite part, finding all the new and interesting places people would take a dump. Changing rooms, shower stalls, pretty much everywhere but the bathrooms.

8 Print Model - Again, way overstating it. Years and years ago, a lovely young woman approached me at a club and asked if I would be interested in doing a photo shoot the next day. She said she liked my look. In my semi drunken stupor, of course I agreed. I showed up the next morning for one of the strangest and oddly most boring days of my life. There were a bunch of us all in this rather non descript entry. We were ushered into one of the city's best known dungeons. This was the photo shoot, S&M and bondage gear. Of course by this time pride wouldn't let me back out, I didn't want to look like a woose, so... I had no idea. Some of the get ups were so elaborate. The boring part was sitting around (uncomfortably might I add) for most of the day, waiting for the actual shoot. No nudity, all staged, quite tame and professional. A bit of a let down actually. No real weirdness other than the situation I had found myself in. Of course I'm still available for print work, some one has to be the before model, right?

9 Hospitality Specialist - I have been a dishwasher, fired for being so clumsy and breaking too many dishes, fry cook, Scott's Chicken Villa, KFC at it's finest, fired for repeated lateness, bus boy, host, bartender/waiter, fired three times and re hired by the same place, manager, instructor, event planner and owner (or so I thought but that is another very long story). Some of the best times and worst nightmares have come from my long career in catering, restaurants and bars. The stories I could tell you.

10 Blogger/Family Historian - Of course I had to add this one. The experience thus far has been far more fulfilling that I had ever thought. The weird thing is how people react. I have only recently started flashing around my "blogger badge" and people and establishments suddenly treat me differently. You know like I have a clue or influence or something. That's been fun. We'll see how that plays out over the years.

     There you have it, my spin on my 10 strangest jobs. Quite the skill set I've developed over the years, no?
Don't forget to drop by Stasha's and see all the other amazing skills we've acquired.