Today is Remembrance Day here in Canada, my post here . I couldn't add to that, so I thought perhaps a less weighty subject. Something to make you smile on such a serious day. Normally just the end of the work week is sufficient for me, but I have to work tomorrow so that doesn't fly today.
What's this? How does a belt qualify for a TGIF post? It's not just any belt, it's my fat belt. That's right, my fat belt and it's too big, hurray. I have gradually, and with a lot of restraint on my part, lost forty pounds over the last two years. Anyone who has ever struggled with weight will understand the significance.
I never thought I would ever have to be careful. I was always the "skinny streak of misery' running around, being a kid. At 30, I weighed 140 lbs, not a lot on a 6 foot frame. I ate and ate and ate and normally couldn't keep weight on. Oh how my forties changed that.
At my heaviest, I tipped the scales at 247 pounds. It was kind of deceiving because I don't gain weight in one place, I just get bigger all over. Gain or loss is harder to notice. Until my grandfather commented to my aunt he didn't recognise me right off, he had never seen me so "fleshy". She thought it was hilarious. Fleshy??? As I stepped onto the scales at my Mom's place I couldn't believe what it said. My love affair with food was over, how could my metabolism betray me like this? When I mentioned my distress to Ferd, he said, " It's okay, you look better chunky". Fleshy, chunky, not states I ever aspired to.
I unabashedly admit my problem, I love to eat and drink. Plain and simple. I don't eat because of depression, unhappiness, no glandular problems. I'm just a bit of a hog. I love food, the smell, sight, texture and taste. I have never exercised any restraint.(or exercised really)
My secret, push away from the table. Put the food away and go. I'm lucky in the respect that my problem had nothing to do with anything other than excess. I just had to pull back from the trough.
I did and I must admit I feel better. My clothes are a little looser. I'm more active and not so self conscious. Not like I was when I had to upgrade to a size 38 pant and that belt.
You know what else? My love affair with food isn't over. I still eat, but that's it. No eat and eat and eat. I'm finally practising a little restraint, Oh no, I couldn't eat that second (or third) piece of pie. Seriously, get that f**kin' pie away from me. I can resist anything but temptation.
I still don't own a scale, I'm not obsessive about losing weight. I am a little more conscious that my body has changed, I can't treat it like I did in my twenties. I still would like to lose about 30 more pounds, I'm most comfortable right around the 180 mark, but right now.. I'm thrilled with the first forty. Maybe a silly thing to be so proud of the there it is, my victory, sort of.
What has been terrific, grateful or interesting for you this week?