Monday, February 13, 2012

Love, the other four letter word

     This week it's the Love edition of Listicles. Stasha provided this prompt, timely too. Last week was passion and of course Valentine's Day is tomorrow. Time to wax poetic about love and my beloved.



     Uh, maybe not. Seeing as how I have spent as many V-Days in the dog house or not speaking as relaxing over a nice dinner or bottle of wine, I'm not really qualified.

     Life has taught me, love is always saying you're sorry even if you don't know or remember what you are sorry for. That famous book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, mine would simply be called, Your head is in Uranus. Instead, here are a couple of tips to help avoid a domestic cage match.

     The first is here. Hard to work up or sustain an anger with this on the table. Nothing more to add there.

     Now for the really, really important part, my guide to domestic bliss via finally knowing how to load the dishwasher properly avoiding all of the associated angst it creates.

Not the most politically correct, but you get the idea

     Why does this create angst? (because knowing is half the battle) Money, that's right, the root of all evil.
Every time you run the dishwasher it costs in time, energy, detergent and breakage. For the busy, green or money conscious, an improperly loaded dishwasher is a hotbed of argument topics. Let's just learn how to avoid all that shall we.

     How does my dishwasher work? Well I'm glad you asked, let me explain.

big box with two rotating sprayer arms
heating coil in the bottom


three separate compartments for detergent/rinsing agent

     Your objective then is to get the maximum amount of dishes clean, using the minimum amount of energy, water and detergents causing no damage or breakage to what you put inside. Sounds simple right? Then why do I find my good knives in the dishwasher even though I've told you a thousand times they don't go in there I just spent a small fortune getting them sharpened causing me to look like this and if you ruin them, I swear to God there will be a reckoning ?


 I know, mad MS Paint skills right
It just gets better

Wrong

Wrong

and again, Wrong

1 Pre rinse. I know all those detergent ads say no, they lie. Your dishwasher is not a garborator. Olive pits, gobs of food or napkins will really not dissolve and be flushed away. You can in fact, clog the hoses and that is a very expensive plumber's bill in the making.

2 Load back to front. Keep it organized from the beginning. You're less likely to end up with wasted space.

3 Try and keep dishes of similar sizes and shapes together, not like the first photo. You want to get a good even spray of water so if you nest the dishes they don't come clean.

4 THE GOOD KNIVES DON'T GO IN THE DISHWASHER. Not everything can go in the dishwasher. Sad but true, some things need to be handled with care.

5 Separate your cutlery. It washes better. Heads up and handles down. Again better water exposure so it washes better. Points of the knives to the back, spoons up front. Less blood, always good.

6 Dishes don't go in cross wise. That bends the tines and makes me mad.

7 The heating element is in the bottom so soft plastic can melt or distort. It goes in the top rack or better yet, hand wash.

8 Do put soap in both detergent compartments. The machine is designed for a double wash cycle, use it. Nothing is more annoying than re washing an entire load because you tried to save a few cents on detergent. Rinsing agents are optional. None have ever worked for me but.... Strangely, plain old white vinegar is pretty effective.


Isn't that better?

Look at all that room.
All is right with my world once more.

     For what ever reason, dishes figure prominently in a lot of kitchen arguments. Loading them, running the dishwasher or emptying it, all topics that have created a lot of grief in the Kitchen over the years.

     What would make me happy this Valentine's Day? I'd love to come home to a clean house, with the dishes done. It's the little things.

     Maybe not totally on track with Stasha's Love prompt  (that just sounds funny some how) but avoiding a fight is half the battle. You're welcome.

     Don't forget to swing by and see what everyone has to say on love, I'm pretty confident they know more than me.

30 comments:

  1. Ureka! By George, I think I've got it!
    And hey....if Left Brain asks: I was never here. right?

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    1. You secret is safe with me. But you know I agree with Left Brain, right?

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  2. Oh, my God -----> SO FUNNY! So VERY VERY FUNNY!
    You drew a diagram of the dishwasher.
    You illustrated it with proper how-to pictures.
    This was priceless (and so was Rory's comment!) Ha!

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  3. This is the best relationship advice EVER! It's true. The dishwasher is rife with strife. Ha, see what I did there? Wait, is that even right. Oh whatever!

    Really good take on the prompt, Paul!

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    1. I wish I had come up with that, Rife with Strife. that would have been the best title. I can't even begin to count the number of arguments over dishes, insanity really.

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  4. My husband runs the dishwasher with the sink still full of dirty dishes. Nothing. I. Hate. More. Angst, indeed.

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    1. I hear you. The only thing worse than the dishwasher is both sinks full of dishes. Drives Me Crazy (and it's a pretty short ride most days)

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  5. Ha! A lesson in dish-washing. TOTALLY "paying this forward" to my husband. (I mean really, it's got photos and everything! Wow!) :)

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    1. There really is a "right " way to do most of those tedious everyday chores. Now if only someone had done one on how to shave, would have saved me a lot of blood loss. LOL

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  6. AMAZING! In our case I think you just drew this for me:) Next time, laundry! Happy Valentines Day.

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    1. I'm always happy to share what little wisdom I've accumulated. Can't help you with laundry,I've always done my own and I don't do anyone else's

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  7. I think I might be falling in love with you... Or at least your mad dishwasher skills. You gave me the best Valentine's ever. Now I must spread the word! THANK YOU! Happy clean dishes day Paul!

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    1. Oh Stasha, so glad my feelings are returned. You have single handedly changed how I feel about Mondays. I want clean dishes day to be every day LOL

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  8. I was raised by obsessive dishwasher loading parents, so this post hits very close to home. And I 100% agree with pre-rinsing! My husband does not, however. He thinks they should just be able to be loaded in after a few scrapes. It gives me a nervous tick just thinking about it.
    Nice job- very funny post! :)

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    1. I have that tick myself. I try not to interfere, encourage and all that but..... I'm so glad I'm not alone in my madness. LOL

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  9. I totally have to show this to Fred. Clean dishes would So make my day.
    m.

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    1. I hear you Mark. If some one vacuumed or swept the floors, I'd think I was in heaven. Not that I'll turn my nose up at chocolate, roses or that watch I've had my eye on.

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  10. Hahaha. We don't have a dishwasher so this is a non-issue in my house, and I think I like it that way ;)

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    1. Oh don't even get me started about sinks full of dishes in cold greasy water. They're soaking??? Even hand washing is an issue around here, glad you have some how avoided all that.

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  11. My husband solved that issue by never loading the dishwasher. He will happily do every other kitchn chore but that one. That's fine by me though, he'd probably just get it wrong anyway. Happy Valentine's day!

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    1. I could live with that. Around here we don't seem to have that division of labour. :( Just me ranting.

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  12. It's great that you took the time to explain and illustrate your points. Sometimes people expect you to read their minds and just magically know how and why they want something done a certain way. I think this way is much easier.

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    1. I do strive for clarity although the mind reading thing would be kinda cool too, sometimes, when I wanted chores to get done, or presents??

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  13. OMG I LOVE, LOVE your list!!! I can't even tell you how many times I have said to hand wash my knives and pans!!! Ugh!! And yet it doesn't get done. Atleast I get to buy new pans faster right :)

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    1. ROFL, glad you look on the bright side. Why do they never ever listen??

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  14. "Your head is in Uranus..." I LOVE IT!

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    1. I'm sure there is a book in there somewhere LOL

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Thanks for your comment, I hope you enjoyed your time in the "Kitchen".