Up or Down?

     Tuesday, the last day of my extended holiday weekend and what a weekend. Five glorious days. There were fireworks, beer, gardening, more beer, fires in the fireplace outside, a bit more beer. A small matter of injuring myself so the beer is now self medicating and a trip to the doctor tomorrow, back spasm. Ouch.
 
     I've finally levered myself to the desk for a little chat. Here is what Rory left us with last week.
 

Oh no! Your elevator just suddenly stopped!!

Who would you like to be stuck in there with you? Why? Or, who would be the absolute worst person to be stuck in an elevator with?

 

     Very appropriate seeing as how I just finished watching Devil, a horror flick about 5 people trapped in an elevator. Definitely don't want to be stuck with them, it didn't end well for most.

 

     I have been stuck in an elevator once. I was fooling around playing the Bionic Man, sound effects and all and tripped the inner doors. Who knew you could do that? About an hour of going up and down with the inner doors open not fun for me or my friend who was freaking out. No more Bionic Man.

 

     Who would I pick?

 

     There are a few, okay quite a few, names that come to mind but I'll keep this a PG rating and there are a few qualifiers.

 

1. I've had my coffee. I don't play well with others caffeine free. Ever.

2. I have my smokes. I don't do well in an extended nicotine free state either.

3 I don't have to pee.

4 No cameras

5 No Muzak.

 

     Now if I was stuck with Ferd, it could be either the best or the worst. We would laugh about the situation, he would keep me entertained with song and dance. OR He would start bitching. How are we going to get out? Can't you climb through the escape hatch and fix this thing?  When will this be over? I would reply. We wouldn't be here if you hadn't had to take 2 hours getting ready, making us late so we ended up on this particular elevator in the first place There is no f****ing way I'm climbing on top of this thing. You do it if you think it's so easy. A bit of a coin toss.

 

     For all around coolness and a wee bit of hero worship; Annie Lennox, David Bowie, David Sylvian, Richard Butler, Brian Ferry, Meryl Streep, Judy Dench, Tom Waits, Grace Jones, Simon Pegg, and on and on. Any one who's art I've admired over the years. A chance to have a one on one with them for even 10 minutes.

 

    The are you for real; Mariah Carey, Snooki, Alicia Silverstone, Tammy Faye Baker, Paula Abdul, Kanye West, Simon Cowell, OctoMom, Prince, Martha Stewart. The out there crazy, are you kidding me kind of folks. Just to see if all the hype about the crazy is real or just a publicity stunt. I'm fully aware this could go very, very wrong.

 

    Honestly, I can't think of anyone who would be torture to be stuck with. Weird, but even people who's view of the world is completely different from mine would be interesting to talk to just to try and understand, to make sense of where they are coming from. Are Chris and Roman the waste of skin I think they are? Is Bristol, well, Bristol. I'm not saying we would ever be BFFs but they're people too, right? Again, this could back fire, badly. I guess I'm just a sucker for punishment.

 

     Drop by Rory's place and see who else we'll be stuck with, or not.