Tuesday, May 1, 2012


     Tuesday. Grab a cuppa Joe and let's chew the fat a while. Grab a seat, that one furnence the T.V. and take a load off.

     This was Rory's prompt last week.

Ok, can you all dig what I am putting down? Cuz I'm layin' it on you straight. Let's get this joint jumpin next week. Whaddaya say, gate? How does your jive sound? (for those requiring translation, basically --- what's your favourite slangs, euphemisms, or idioms?)

I've been like a kid in a candy store all week. A chance to unleash a full blown attack of word-nerd-itude, hitherto unknown in these parts. Oh Yeah. It's gonna be epic.

     Language fascinates me. The how, the why, the when. There is no right, no wrong, no proper, no crass. In it's purest form the only rule is, it must convey meaning in a recognisable way.

     We've taken that and built English, French, Hindi, Tagalog. Given it rules of grammar, morphology and syntax. Devised alphabets, dissected it into it's component parts of verb, noun, and adjective. Given it inflection and tone. A form.

    Our lexicon is ever changing. We borrow from other languages, a capella, el dente, mystique. We mispronounce, dents de lions becomes dandelion. We re-task, terrific no longer bears any relation to is origin in terror, nor fantastic to phantasm. The Flintstones having "a gay old time" meant they were enjoying life, not that Wilma and Betty were Fred and Barney's beards. Words go in and out of fashion. Any one been swiving lately? Maybe if you've been LARPing. Nowhere does language change more than in our slang.

     Recognise furnence (and I'm not sure it's spelled correctly)? It was popular slang in my grandfather's day. It means beside or next to. I've even heard him use it. The only reason I knew what it meant was because we had studied it in class. Most slang has a pretty short half life. Each generation creates their own.

     Hip, groovy, cool, rad, gnarly, bodacious, most excellent, the bomb slowly but surely are being replaced with epic, sick,  awesome, off the hook/chain. Who knows what they will be replaced with?

     Not only is it generational, it's regional. I grew up with , "cuter 'n a batch of speckled pups" or "like chickens on a June bug". You? I nearly laughed my self sick when an English friend asked "Mind if I bum a fag." I told him I didn't judge but thought his girlfriend might object. He didn't appreciate my sense of humour, probably because he was jonesing for that cigarette.

     The current crop has been heavily influenced by technology. LOL, ROFL, AFK, PWNed all acronyms that are computer and text driven.

     One of my current favourites has to be "junk". No I'm not talking about a traditional Chinese boat. Usually synonymous with trash, or something of little value, now guys use it to describe their manly bits. I have yet to meet a guy who wasn't inordinately proud of his "junk". Of little value?

     Not to be confused with having "junk in the trunk". Ladies with a shapely posterior. Because now you can have a phat ass and be happy about that. Pretty hot and tempting/tasty. Not to be confused with a fat ass unless that's what you find phat. It can get a little confusing.

    Can a guy have junk front and back? or is that now the difference between the sexes? I dunno. Sure does put a whole different spin on, "I'll just throw my junk in your trunk."

     My all time favourite, hands down, The Great Great Grand Mac Daddy of all Slang has to be.....anyone? anyone? Okay, the eff bomb. Before you get all up in arms and offended, and I will be using the word shortly, it occupies a rather unique place in the English language.

     It has been around since the late 1400's-early 1500s. To the best of my knowledge, the only slang to have made it through five centuries, with it's meaning virtually unchanged and still firmly in the range of not polite conversation. Despite urban legend, it is not an acronym for anything, but a derivation of an old Anglo-Saxon/Latinate verb meaning to copulate.

     Now it still carries that meaning, but the sheer versatility in present usage is kind of amazing.

Noun- dumb fuck
Adjective fucking idiot
Adverb We're fucked
Gerund- Fucking is fun/The police warned us against fucking around in the parking lot.
The rarest of all English affixes, the infix-unfuckingbelievable, absofuckinglutly, surfuckingprise
Interjection-Fuck, I missed the bus. Hold your fucking horses.
Quantifier- I fucking love you

   The list goes on and on and on. It's part of the acronyms SNAFU, FUBAR and of course, WTF. It can be used to express disgust, awe, fear, anger, fondness even bravado.  All through a subtle change in context, tone or inflection. And everyone recognises the different connotations.

    Like it or not, and I understand that many don't, it is impressive in terms of language. One of the few words in the English language that is globally recognised.

     It has also influenced popular culture, the clothing line FCUK, Frack/Frak from Battlestar and Frell from Farscape. This word has gotten around and shows no sign of going away any time soon.

     Hopefully I haven't offended too many of you. If you're wondering about the title, how do you think it's pronounced? Gotti? Nope, Fish. F from tough, I from women and SH from motion. Just some word nerd frakking with you.

     Now if you really want to get a dose of slang, watch Attack the Block. Pest is freakin' hilarious.

     Drop by Rory's and see if you can pick up what everyone threw down this week. Respect.



  1. well fuck - and here I thought it did originate back to the Celtic tradition of "hand fasting" were Consent of the King was necessary. Guess I done fucked up. LOL
    This was so awesome - even though I feel terribly guitly of course for even using the nastly little word. But it truly does have such a rich heritage and wide scope that it is hard to even consider it a "real" curse anymore. It's reach is just so utterly fascinating - from a word nerd perspective - and sometimes ya know......it just feels good to let it fly.
    and I just fuckin love that shit! LOL
    but don't tell my mom, kay? :)

    1. LMFAO, I won't tell but if she does happen to drop by Sherry taught you that word.
      The hand fasting thing, never happened. You never needed kings consent to marry(unless you were of the royal family) It's kind of a mangling of several different traditions. Strictly from a time constraint thing, if the king had to authorise everyone's fucking, nothing else would have ever gotten done.
      Yes, the history of curse words kind of fascinates me. you should have seen the red face ot the TA who covered it with us.

  2. Since I am always surrounded by kids, I never say the F word out loud; instead I say fudge. But trust me: since I am always surrounded by kids, I am constantly THINKING the F-word.


    2. That's the benefit of living in a child free environment, no need to edit yourself.
      BTW, I've used all of your phrases, just insert Halloween costume with science project, here in the Kitchen. LOL

  3. Sometimes when I click on a post that has no photos, I actually think "Oh fuck, I gotta read this whole thing" But never with your posts!

    1. POFL, I promise I'll add more pictures next time.

  4. very interesting read. the F word is one of my fave words, i use it entirely too much.

    i think my faves that i've picked up from "back then" is "over by yonder" and "i reckon." it's a combination of going to college in the south and loving the book To Kill a Mockingbird.

    btw, i saw Attack the Block and loved loved loved loved loved it.

    1. I use it a fair bit myself.
      I've used "over yonder" and " I reckon" if I'm playing up the farm boy thing. Never heard "over by yonder"
      Attack the Block was a riot, I loved it too.

  5. I've discovered that one of the benefits of being an empty nester is that finally, after long years of suppression, I can finally, freely, and with great gusto, say "fuck" whenever I choose.

    1. With gusto. LOL I like that.
      My Mom always used to shake her head and say," I always thought you had a better command of the English language than that." when she caught me cursing.
      that's right Ma, I do have a command of the English language, 500 years worth LOL


Thanks for your comment, I hope you enjoyed your time in the "Kitchen".