Monday, March 5, 2012

If I Could Only ....

     Wow, Monday again already. How time flies, right? This week, our mission should we choose to accept it, list 10 things you can't do, or things you are bad at. The prompt this week came from Jessica over at Team Rasler. Only ten things, really?

1 I can't make Kraft Dinner, or as I like to call it Crap Dinner. I personally loathe the stuff but I do have friends who like it so have made the attempt... and I ruined it. All three times I tried to make it. WTF. In the same vein, a simple vinaigrette is beyond me. My friend Erica can whip one up out of spit and sunshine, these incredible taste experiences, me not so much.

2 I can't play tennis, which is too bad because I love to try and play tennis. I have friends who are good players and thought at first I was just being modest, perish the thought. It's amazing how mad people get when they think you've lied to them, when in fact, you did warn them.

3 I can't sing. I'm a baritone, not the super deep Barry White kind, but deep enough when I try for those high notes it sounds like I'm strangling a cat.

4 I can't dance. I can feel a beat, but I'm very clumsy. Wild abandon and clumsy don't mix, at least not well.

5 I have no game face. You can normally tell just what I think about something by my expression. Unless I'm concentrating, then apparently I just look mean.

6 My filter is broken. I don't suffer from foot and mouth, I'm usually right up to the thigh. For example, Ferd went skiing this weekend and was telling me he thought he should buy new ski pants. He felt the ones he had were too bulky, preventing him from being able to maneuver properly. Now we're not talking about shaving micro seconds off the slalom run here. My reaction? Hysterical laughter. Flashing through my brain, the Michellan Man trying to ski, sexy Flanders clip from the Simpsons all under-layed with my inner monologue going, " You can't maneuver because you can't ski for shit". His reaction, "You're such an asshole".

7 I'm a terrible liar. Now you may think that isn't such a bad thing, but if your boss asks for an opinion, you know they want a "You're Brilliant" response. If I'm not feelin' it, I can't sell it.

8 This one is situational, I can't focus at home. At work, I'm the scary focused, uber organized employee. An hour after arrival my day is planned, scheduled and I've moved on to what am I going to have for dinner. Getting it together at home..... it all falls apart. The simplest of tasks get side tracked. You know how I spent this weekend? Taking down my Christmas decorations. Seriously. In March.

     Even my blog posts get sidetracked. I started a memorial post for Davy Jones, which started me thinking about my childhood which segued into wanting Bachelor's Pudding, which then turned into me making Apple and Pear Crisp, thinking it would make a good recipe post, eating the aforementioned crisp before pictures were taken, sidelining the Chocolate Chip Cookie trials ending up with me thinking I should really redesign my header for the blog because, well, why not? See what I mean.

9 I can't spell. I spell things phonetically. With out spellcheck I would be lost. Whenever Blogger doesn't give me that sea of yellow, I know it's not working, again.

10. I can't do this. You'll have to wait until tomorrow to find out why I might ever want to do this or how it would be of any benefit.


     There you have it, my list of ten. I'll leave you with this. Sorry Davy, you deserve better but....



     The "Manchester Cowboy", you'll be missed.


     Swing on over to Stasha's to see everything we just can't quite get a grip on.


30 comments:

  1. I can't help but wonder if you gave Ferd a Wonderbar....if it might have softened the blow of harsh words? LOL

    And it is inconceiveable to me that I can make Crap Dinner with my eyes closes, nay - probably half asleep, and you cannot. the universe is clearly off balance.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. There were no harsh words, just the laughing.
      I seriously can't make anything out of a box. I even read the directions. WTF?

      Delete
  2. You better not get side-tracked tomorrow 'cause I want to hear more about your desire to become a contortionist.

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    1. Glad I've peaked your interest. Hope I can deliver.

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  3. I know I keep bugging you to give Twitter a go but if staying on task is as hard as you say, I give you a pass. I get distracted too easily too!! And social media is not helping.
    Tanks for the Monkees. Perfect on a rainy morning.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Staying on task, what is that?
      The Monkees were my heros as a kid. Impossible not to smile listening to that.

      Delete
  4. I can't think of one reason why you'd want to be able to do number 10. Very perplexing.

    I love to try and play tennis too. I'm horrible though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's a good reason, that's all I'm saying
      You and I can play bad tennis together.

      Delete
  5. I think all your "I can'ts are completely endearing and makes me like you even more.

    PS-I can't make kraft mac n' cheese to save my life, much to my children's peril.

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    1. Thanks Nicki. what is it with making things from a box? If we can make things from scratch it really should be a breeze, right?

      Delete
  6. Ah, how did I miss singing?! I can't do that either. I'm just about as bad as the worst contestant with DWTS, except I KNOW I suck. I secretly felt bad for my boys when they were babies and I sang to them, and I still feel bad for my 16 month old daughter. I mean, does that really help her ear infection? I'm guessing NOT.

    Love your blog, glad to have found you on Listicles!

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    1. ROFL, Sharon your poor daughter. Thank everything above I'm not there to duet with you.

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  7. I'm glad you can't make Crap Dinner and I'm even more glad you can't cross your feet behind your neck like that contortionist can.

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    1. I'm glad I can't make it either. I can't even stand the smell of it. The contortionist thing is vaguely disturbing. I'm not even going to speculate why the big grin.....

      Delete
  8. I could make myself focus or look like I was focused when I was at work. But now that I work at home, it's a little tougher. I have to learn new tricks to make myself stay focused.

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    1. I'm with you, just too easy to get carried off at home. Never get anything done.

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  9. I'm kinda glad you can't do #10 because that'd be creepy.

    Also, wanna go dancing?

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    1. That is kinds creepy right? All of us bad dancers should get together, have our own DWTS. Think of the fun we would have LOL

      Delete
  10. I can't make anything out of a box either, Really I consider it a blessing cause it all tastes like Crap anyways! And #10 is weird, why would you even want to do that?

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    1. I'm glad I'm not alone with the Mac 'n cheese thing. !0 well you'll just have to see o Tuesday LOL

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  11. Kraft dinner (or as we call it mac & cheese) is gross anyway. But, I am disappointed that you can't do that fun trick at the end. We obviously don't have as much in common as I thought. ;)

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    1. I agree. I may not be able to do 10 but that is not to say I don't have my own tricks LOL

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  12. My husband can't spell either. He is forever asking me to spell things for him. Thank goodness for spell check! LOL Great list.

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    1. Spelling is the worst. Why can't we just spell things the way they sound, so much easier.

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  13. So Kraft Dinner seems to be everyone's favourite here in Canada and I think it's one of the most disgusting things to feed to anyone. So if you invite me over for dinner, don't worry about it.
    I dig the getting distracted thing... Twitter would be a great fit for you! You could procrastinate on Twitter, Facebook and your blog simultaneously!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Jusr say no to Kraft dinner, you're welcome over anytime. It makes me ill just thinking about it.
      I've been avoiding Twitter just for that reason, like I need another enabler?

      Delete
  14. I'd be lost without spell check, too. The closer my fingers get to a keyboard, the worse my spelling gets. :)

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    1. LOL, I hear you, oh how I hear you.

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  15. #6!! Hahaha! You are brutally honest Paul! Hahaha! I just hope Fred or Ferd?, didn't give you a whack in the head. Hehehe.

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    1. I only thought those things I didn't actually say them. All I did was laugh, the madder he got, the harder I laughed. It really was uncontrollable.

      Delete

Thanks for your comment, I hope you enjoyed your time in the "Kitchen".