Sunday, September 9, 2012

Three little letters


     Things are in a much different place than last week. As you all know, I love a good tune so was looking forward to this week's musical prompt. A little escape from all the crap surrounding the sale of the house. Unfortunately, I've got no music, just a need to get these thoughts outside my head.

      As with any story, keep in mind, this is only my perspective on things.

     All summer I have been trying to sell my house. Correction, our house. I own it with a business partner. When I was in the market 8 years ago, I had money for a down payment but my other half did not. In trying to raise funds, I ended up in a business partnership. Not an ideal situation but the only one available.

     The house has doubled in value, a great investment. Time to move on, work on my own future.  I was excited about it. My business partner expressed an interest in buying my share, no problem. I don't care who buys, I just wanted to sell. And it has been a non stop battle since the end of June.

     First it was the value of the house. I told him what I thought, no I didn't know what I was talking about. It went to market to determine price. A realtor was called in. Delay to add in the buy out clause, satisfying all the legals. The house listed, 7 offers, it's all good. My business partner made an offer, I accepted. It's the 3rd of August. Just need to get the financing done. BTW this is what my half is worth. No, you've made a mistake. No you don't understand how these things work. NO, you've made a math mistake. A lawyer called in to correct that. Still waiting over a month later.

     It has taken over my entire summer. All this work, time, effort and money and it feels like I am not much further ahead today than I was when we started in June.

      I've been stressed out and furious. That impotent rage. I can't do anything alone. We have to agree. We do in fact, agree, mostly. I've tried to be fair, patient, understanding. 

      During this, I also found out my dream of a house in the 'burbs with some space was not something me and mine shared. Lots of tension, not sure how or if we could reconcile this particular difference. I admit I was angry and hurt that the idea of building a future with me was maybe not that appealing if it wasn't in downtown Toronto.

     I resigned myself to the fact that I may be going it alone. Not for a lack of anything other than a shared vision of the future. And then the other shoe dropped. Suddenly everything from this summer doesn't mean quite so much.

     My other half was diagnosed with ALS this week and it feels like the sky has fallen. Three little letters and our world has changed.


Clowning around at the Ex this year

     If you're not familiar, ALS is a disease that destroys the neurons that control your voluntary muscles. Most will recognize it as Lou Gehrigs disease. No cure, no real treatment.

     I wasn't going post this. Too soon, too raw, too personal. But it helps. Just putting the words down has brought some clarity.  A bit of light into what has been dark days. I think I would like to continue posting about our struggle with this. I know we're not alone even if it feels like that right now. As much as I hate those tired cliches, a burden shared is a burden eased.

    Rather than my music, I'll leave you with a favourite of his. Don't ask me why, but he and one of my housemates screech this at each other all the time. Then they giggle like madmen.


    
   

23 comments:

  1. what. WTF?! No. Just no.
    ah hell.
    hugs all around. xoxo
    email me hon - whenever.

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  2. I am so sorry. Thinking of you and your family.

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  3. I know I can't say anything that will help. I'm so, so sorry.

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  4. I am so sorry, I really have no words. :-(

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  5. I'm so sorry. LIfe is hard, almost all of the time.

    Also - Jolene is one of the best songs ever made. Dolly rules.

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  6. I'm glad you were able to share this. I am so sorry and you have my empathy. Ellen

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  7. That indeed is one brutal summer. Hope things start looking up for you.

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  8. Wow, just wow. I'm so very sorry - about everything but especially the ALS. I wish I could say something helpful.

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  9. I'm sorry to hear this. Sometimes it's good just to blog and let it out. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. *hugs*

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  10. Oh, I'm so sorry. I hope it helped you a bit to share.

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  11. Aw..Paul. I'm so very sorry to read this. Know you are not alone, and please feel free to share this struggle with us if it helps you cope with your burden. xx

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  12. My heart breaks for you. My pseudo-sister's husband was diagnosed with ALS 14 years ago. It has been an emotional road. I will be keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers.

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  13. I should have picked another day to return from my Blogging break.
    Thinking of you.
    And how kind of you to post that song from Dolly for me. Love her! You did do it just for me, right?
    Your Friend, m.

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  14. Oh no :( You guys are in my thoughts.

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  15. Sorry just doesn't seem to cut it... but I am deeply sorry for all that you are going through. Sending some hugs!

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  16. I know sorry does nothing, but I'm still sorry. I don't know you or your significant other, but I will pray for you (strength) and him (health, miracle).

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  17. Hugs my sweet friend. I don't know what to say. I stared at the empty comment box for a while and all I can give you is love and hugs and hope. This is just a journey, love is and will be the same! That much I know!! Xxoo

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  18. Oh, I am so sorry--I can't imagine the depth of sadness and loss you must be feeling.

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  19. Dear friend, I am sending you love and support from my corner of the cosmos, and wish for happier days for you and yours...

    xox

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  20. i don't have words except to say that i love that dolly parton song (and all the other remakes of it) and i would screech along with your housemates and try to outshine them, cus that's what i do.

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  21. I can't tell you all how much your support and encouragment means. Thank you all.
    As for the Dolly lovers, umm, sure we'll go with that.

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Thanks for your comment, I hope you enjoyed your time in the "Kitchen".