Thursday, November 10, 2011

The Perils of Paul, Episode I, The Cliffhanger

     Does anyone remember the old serial, " The Perils of Pauline". And before you ask, no I'm not old enough to remember the original airing. Produced in the '30's starring Evelyn Knapp, it followed the adventures, or misadventures of the heroine, Pauline. It always ended with a cliffhanger.



     Here is my cliffhanger.



The peril, navigating the kitchen.




 


     WTF, I kid you not, I cleaned the kitchen 2 days ago. It was immaculate. I have no idea why putting dishes away is such an effort. I guess it is more fun to try and pull the bottom ones out of the dish rack a la Jenga or Kerplunk. Shutting a cupboard door is apparently a crime, as is wiping a counter, taking out the recycling or closing the door on the dishwasher.(I had to close it to get into the kitchen, it was blocking the doorway from the basement) An empty surface just cries out to be loaded down with crap.

     Why the angst? None of these dishes or mess are mine. I hate cooking in a dirty, messy space. Every time I go to use the kitchen it is the same story. It drives me into a rage every single time. What really gets me, my room is directly under the kitchen so I hear every crash as someone tries to grab the bottom dishes, hear every, "Where is the ..., I can't find it?". It is right where ever you left it last time you used it and didn't bother to put it back.

     I've tried leading by example, screaming, yelling, being reasonable and nothing sticks. It leads to The Invasion and Why I Hate the Food Network, the serials to my perils.

    I mentioned for an extra $25 a month a maid could come in once a week, turned down flat. The main villain in the piece, "I'm not paying extra for something I can do myself". Then do it, far more often.

     I share my house with four tenants. They have changed over the years but the mess remains the same. Four other adults and my house looks like I'm chasing after kids to pick up their toys. I swear. A lot.

     Any helpful suggestions? Any perils in your house?