Justice

      It's my pleasure to announce my final February guest here in the Kitchen, Rachel from Totally Ovar It. I'd say my final social media post but I just got a late request so...  Anyway, I've been wracking my brain trying to introduce her post, to do it justice, and I'm having a hard time.

     We all blog for different reasons, about different things. We put it out there and hope someone is reading. My own bit of the blogshere is not what I would call an overly personal one. Quite frankly, I am a very private person, not willing to put my heart out there and have it open to scrutiny. I'm constantly amazed by people who have the courage to do that.

     Reading people's accounts of abuse, illness, loss etc and how it affects them or how they have moved on is inspirational. The community has a vibrant and supportive network that spans the globe, shining a light into life's darker corners. You are not alone. There is hope. I understand.

     Unfortunately, not all of our online experiences are good ones. I already did my rant about an experience I had on a forum. Unpleasant but not a big deal. I've not had a really negative response to my blog or had to deal with haters. With any luck, I never will. Not all of us are so fortunate. Today, Rachel is sharing her encounter with the darker side of blogging.

The Underbelly of the Blogosphere

I find there is truly helpful information on becoming a successful blogger everywhere.

My biggest piece of advice: Don't piss off the Homecoming Queen of Twitter.

Sadly, I am extremely cynical. I am also not super interested in growing my "brand" or give a shit about what people think. I blog for me and if you read it, that kind of fascinates me as to why.

But I cared oh so much, one year ago

When my blog was novel and the bloggers I met loved me and I was in the Homecoming Queen's court.

And then I sent an email to said Queen because I was hurt by her actions towards me and everything turned.

The HQ decided I was no longer worthy of her attention and, in fact, decided I was no longer worthy to contact her either. I was blocked from her Twitter and Facebook accounts, with no explanation.

I desperately tried to reach out to her many, many times. To talk about why my feelings were so hurt by her actions. To do anything to re-establish our friendship. All to no avail. I am dead to her. 

Not only did she turn on me, she reported my Twitter account as harassing and got it shut down. She blocked my email address from her site and got a number of her followers (many of whom I was silly enough to think they were my friends) to "unfollow" me and block me from their Twitter and Facebook accounts.

All of this without even saying "Boo" to me.  I do not enjoy conflict, but I always want to resolve it. 

But I also thank her for this as it was the best thing she could have done for me.

She made me rethink why I blog. So much so that I quit blogging for over 4 months. And when I restarted I did it on my terms.

In fact, I'm glad she got my old handle 'totallyovarit' banned. Because that's NOT how I want to be known. I am so much more than my blog. I am a real person with literally life or death problems. Not someone who is interested in tweeting my day away.

She also showed me who she does not have influence over. Ironically they are people I met through her, yet they have stuck by me through everything I have gone through. They are my champions. And I love them as they are my family too.

I blog for me, plain and simple.

I blog because I am painfully honest about my past and want other abused women to know they are not alone.

I am not out there trying to grow my audience or get a book deal (yet).

I refuse to get caught up in the bullshit of "I'll comment on your blog if you comment on mine" and "I'll follow you if you follow me." No. I will comment when something resonates. It doesn't matter if I'm the first and only comment or the fiftieth one.

I wear my heart on my sleeve because I want anyone who reads my blog and thus decides to become my friend in this virtual world, to know exactly what s/he is in for.

I will never again be duped by the false friendship of another, more popular blogger. As I have first hand experience that while she is a talented writer, she is a shallow, mean, vindictive woman. For bloggers like her I have little patience.


http://www.totallyovarit.com/

     There are a couple of reasons why this particular post hits home. I was reading another blog and she was also dealing with negative responses. Her words " you can't take this safe place away from me" stayed with  me for days after.

     I think we forget sometimes, there is a real person behind each post. We are a step removed from actual person to person contact. Sometimes that is a great thing. We have time to think, process then respond. Other times we forget the power of a keystroke. We forget the person behind the post. Just like IRL feelings get hurt, actions have consequences, even those keystrokes.

     Thank you Rachel for sharing this. Yes, there may be haters out there, but they can only take away our voice if we let them. In trying to break us down, they only make us stronger. That's divine justice.

    

An Introvert's Guide to Blogging

     I'm honoured to welcome Sweaty from Do Sweat the Small Stuff into the Kitchen today. I love her blog/writing and am thrilled she consented to do a guest post for me. Without further ado, drum roll please, here's Sweaty.

An Introvert’s Guide to Blogging

by Sweaty of Do Sweat the Small Stuff

If you’re an introvert like me, using social media to enhance your blog can be more than a little daunting.  All of a sudden, it’s like high school again, and most likely you’d feel like the new kid who had transferred in the middle of a semester, complete with volcanic pimples and shiny braces.  

While I’m far from being a social media expert, I do know a few things from my days of being a blogger.  Below are the most basic, but essential tips that could help you fit in without having to reinvent yourself into someone you’re not.

1) Read, comment, and reply.

Blogging, first and foremost, is about sharing.  It’s a give-and-take thing.  If you want people to read your blog, then read others’.  Leave sincere and thoughtful comments that showed you have paid attention to what they’ve written.  Every one wants to feel validated; for bloggers, nothing could be more rewarding than a comment that acknowledges his or her post’s relevance.

The same goes to the comments left on your post.  Remember that those people have spent their precious time reading what you wrote instead of a million other things they could be doing at the time.  Show them that you appreciate what they’ve done by replying to each of their comments.

2) Set up a Twitter account and Facebook page for your blog.

Believe me, you need at least those two.  Why?  Because it’s the easiest way to communicate and advertise your blog to others.  Unless you’re a celebrity, chances are people don’t know you exist.  Twitter and Facebook provide a way to make yourself known.  And no, you don’t need to be tweeting or posting a new status every minute for these two forms of social media to be effective.  Remember, the most important thing is to make others aware of your existence.  At the very least, tweet your latest post at regular intervals throughout the day, and post it on your FB page right after you publish it.

3) When you find blogs you like, follow AND visit them regularly.  

What I mean by ‘follow’ is: follow them through Google Friend Connect (if available), subscribe to their RSS feed or via email, add their Twitter accounts, and ‘Like’ their FB pages.  

I personally use Google Reader to organize my subscriptions, and Hootsuite for all the tweets I follow.  Without these tools, it could be quite difficult to stay updated.

I really don’t recommend following just any blog for the sake of quantity.  You’d just end up crowding your inbox and Reader list, and soon enough, confuse and overwhelm yourself.

Next, visit the blogs you’ve followed on a regular basis.  It’s important to let them know that you are in it for the long run, not just a once-in-a lifetime occurrence.  Especially with established blogs with a high number of followers, you would need to visit them at least a few times if you want them to notice you.  There is no short-cut to building meaningful connections when it comes to friendship.  If you want loyal followers, then you must be loyal to them too.

.

4) Join Blog Hops or Writing Prompts linkys. 

Joining a Blog Hop is a good and easy way to make your blog presence known and for you to get to know other bloggers.  You just click on the links submitted by the other bloggers and you’d instantly be transported to his/her blog.  The same goes for you.

Writing Prompts are more specific, but I personally like them because they tend to be more selective.  You’re more likely to meet bloggers who have the same interests as you there than through Blog Hops.

5) Don’t bite more than you can chew/be yourself.

It’s normal to want tons of followers, to be popular and well-liked.  Just don’t expect it to happen overnight.  Besides, how you define success for your blog is relative.  I know many prided themselves on the number of their followers (me included--boy, was I obsessed with the numbers!).  However, if you’re in it for the long run, you’ll find that what matters most is the connection/friendship you build with others.  Believe me, the last thing you’d want is to have hundreds of followers and still feel ‘lonely’ at the end of the day.

You must be honest and reasonable with yourself when it comes to setting up goals for your blog.  Just because it works for some doesn’t mean it will work on everyone.  What’s right for me might not be right for you.  Don’t feel like you need to post x amount of times per week just because so and so does it.  

Take into consideration the life you have ‘outside’ of blogging, your work commitments, your relationships with your spouse/partner and children (if you have any), and your sanity.  Establish a schedule that you are comfortable with and can stick to in the long run.  I’ve seen many bloggers who over commit themselves in the beginning and ended up quitting because they got burnt out .  

There are an endless amount of resources on blogging out there that you can tap into.  I really encourage you to make full use of them.  By no means the five tips I highlighted above could encompass all there is to know about blogging, but they’ve served me well in the one year that I’ve been blogging.  Hopefully you’ll benefit from them too.

You can find Sweaty:

At her blog: Do Sweat the Small Stuff

Tweeting @dosweatthesmall

FB-ing at http://facebook.com/dosweat

And as a contributing writer at Just Be Enough

     I couldn't agree more. Thank you Sweaty for sharing your wisdom with us. As a small aside, #4, I can't tell you how much my readership has changed since I started doing Monday Listicles with Stasha and Rorybore's Coffee Chat on Tuesdays. Sweaty knows what she's talking about.

     Want to add your two cents? By all means, email me and have your say. Your post could be the next here in the Kitchen.

Link by Link

     Last week things got a little interrupted but I'm kinda back on track with my Social Media February. Today it's my pleasure to introduce the latest member of my family to hit the interweb, Wendy Hillier. I can use her real name because that's the name of her site.

     Wendy is a real estate agent extraordinaire. She also uses LinkedIn. When I was planning the social media thing I spoke to her, yes spoke over the phone, about why Linked In. What did it offer other formats didn't? Here is what she had to say.

Why Linkedin!

     Well, the younger generation (I’m not that old) uses all kinds of social media to stay in touch these days. Facebook is a big party where you have friends to talk to, show pictures to on a more social platform.  

       Linkedin is a great way to stay in touch with professionals in my field of business.  Mortgage lenders, home inspectors, tradesmen as well as other Realtors who are dealing with all kinds of issues that are part of buying and selling houses. They  are posting articles related to real estate.  I usually receive notification about the articles and can read more about it when I have time or can comment on the issue and learn more…kind of like an in classroom course if you will. 

     I am happy to say that I don’t spend a lot of time on Linkedin mainly because I still like the face to face way of doing business.  Everything in balance!

     Short and to the point. I had no idea LinkedIn was more of a professional networking service or that people regularly posted or pointed out articles related to their respective fields. Professional networking is a nightmare for me, anything to make it easier is a blessing.

     I gotta say the more I am hearing, reading about all of the different platforms I am intrigued. Everything is designed for a purpose. Having every one talk about them, likes dislikes, uses, gives me a better understanding of each rather than being lost in that overwhelming cloud "social media". Thanks Wendy.

     Be sure to stop by Wendy's new site and show her some love. If your looking for real estate, she's never too busy for your referrals. LOL

     Tomorrow, Sweaty from Do Sweat the Small Stuff will be sharing her perspective on getting all social so be sure to stop by for that.

     Want to have your say? Email me and you could be the next guest in my Kitchen. Although anything is welcome, I'm curious to hear what you have to say about Digg, StumbledUpon or Pinterest. Y'all come back now, y'hear.

Cuz I'm a Fan

     As promised, here another guest post. This one is from the lovely and talented Germaine over at Kiddothings. She's going to walk us through how to set up a Facebook fan page.

Thank you Paul for inviting me to guest post today. It's an honour to be here and it was a thrill to write something I have very little knowledge about. I only hope that your readers will at least learn something they shouldn't do from my post here about Social Media.

I have never been a sociable person. If you don't know me, I may seem aloof. Get to know me and I may talk more and let you in on a few secrets of mine....maybe. But I am never the bubbly, chatty kind. I'm a thinker and listener, more than I am a talker. I am happy having a few good friends than being popular with many. Aren't you glad you don't know me in person?

When I started my blog, I was contented just writing away, not really bothered with how I could gain more followers....until I got my first comment. That comment made me crave for more. It was addictive and I was hooked on getting word of my blog out into blogosphere. I signed up for Twitter to tweet my posts out. I also signed up for a Facebook account to share my blog with friends who might be interested in reading my mind.

Then, I decided to have a separate Facebook fan page because I saw other blogs having it and was intrigued. Having a fan page for my blog allows for anyone to keep updated with my posts while I keep my personal account well, personal. 

My tutor was Professor Google himself...

"What is Twitter"

"How to tweet"

"How to create a Facebook Fan Page for your blog"

"How to add a Facebook Like Box to your blog"

Twitter and FB were easy to manage with just a click of the 't' and 'f' at the end of each post to share. I was comfortable using them but I never explored how I could grow my following. Just look at my numbers and you'll get an idea of how much effort I've put in to gain followers.

Not long after, Klout decided to enter my life. If you tweet, you'll have a Klout score. I explored it for awhile and enjoyed giving my Twitter friends +K more than anything. I checked on it everytime someone gave me a +K and decided soon after, that I didn't need another number to define how I blog, or tweet in this case. So, I left it at that.

And now there is Google+ which I have yet to learn more about. I have 8 friends in there and I think they might be bored to their wit's end being in my circle. Oh and I am finally in Pinterest! What a wonderful place to get all inspired....and obsessed.

So you see, my social media life in Bloggyland, kind of turned out a little bit like my social life for real...only better. I have a group of good friends I'm comfortable blogsocialising with, just like how I have a few good friends in real life I love to get together with. I don't have a big following but I'm fine with that. I am happy to have found my little community of blogging friends who've made my blogging endeavours a joy and wish to keep them safe in my circle, until they find me too boring and leave, that is. I want to keep on blogging for the fun of it and have no intention of being a big-time famous blogger. 

I think it all boils down to what your objectives are in blogging. I have plans to do reviews and earn a little from my blog and I know I'd probably have to maintain my numbers in Twitter and FB in order to do that. Also, it's good to explore the options out there and find what works for you. Check out what your blogging friends are doing and seek advice from them.

I promised Paul a tutorial on how to set up an FB Fanpage. I don't know if it's the right way to do it but it's how I did it.

How to create a Facebook Fan Page for your blog

1. Go HERE and click on "Brand or Product".

2. Choose "website" as your category and type in the name of your blog.

3. Follow the Steps 1, 2, 3 after that and you're good to go.

How to add a Facebook Like Box to your Blogger Blog

1. Open the Facebook Fan Page that you created and copy the URL.

2. Then go HERE.

3. Paste your Facebook Fan Page URL where it is required.

4. Decide how you'd like your box to look like. Adjust the width etc.

5. Click on "Get Code" at the bottom.

6. You'll be given 3 codes. I can't remember why I picked the IFRAME code. Copy the code.

7. In Blogger, open the "Design" tab.

8. Click on "Add a Gadget"

9. Select "HTML/Javascript" and paste the IFRAME code you copied in Step 6.

10. Tadaa! Your very own Facebook Fan Page Like Box! Now go 'like' it yourself first.

Well, I guess that's about all the intelligence I have with regards to Social Media.

Thank you again Paul for having me over! :)

     You're welcome, it was my pleasure and I did learn something. I knew there was a way to separate my Facebook account from the blog, I just didn't know it was called a fan page. Sometimes it really is the little things that trip you up. If I could have those hours back I spent searching the for wrong thing on Facebook. LOL

     Want to get all social in the Kitchen? Drop me a line and you could be the next guest star sharing your wisdom, ranting, expounding on the virtues of... It's all good.

A Guest in the Kitchen

   Here is the first of what I hope will be many guest posts here for Social February month. A post on where to start, blog design tips from the one and only Rorybore at Time out for Mom. If you have followed along with her, you know how much time and effort has gone into her layout and design.

Blog Design 101    

So you have started a blog.   Great!   Welcome aboard.

Got Followers?   No? 

This might help you figure out why your little blog is lonely.

Many articles list 2 must haves for blogging success:

1.         establishing a reliable blogging routine/schedule; updating frequently;

2.        visiting and commenting on other  blogs

But right after that?    PERSONALIZE!!

When your first create your blog, it will prompt you to choose a layout and design.   With all the template, background, and layout options; this can be easier said than done.   You may be tempted to pick the first thing that catches your eye.  I’d say keep it simple at first, but then, if you want to woo the world, well: the world likes pretty and easy.    The simple fact is, a well- designed blog pleases and catches the eye.   Which means – they will come back.   

There’s no need for wads of cash.   No need to get highly technical.   However, do consider your content and target audience.   If you are a cooking blog, a background of horses running wildly over pastures – as lovely as that might be – not in keeping with your blog’s theme.   Install a Flickr or Picasa slideshow gadget in your sidebar for your favourite images.   If you are a highly technical blog, then you might consider keeping it simple since your audience is more interested in your content.  Not your recent holiday pics, or latest Tweets.    

Basic No-No’s?

Clutter :  messy, over-loaded, improperly sized sidebars, too much text, too many images, links, etc. , the focus is on the “extras”, and away from your valuable content.    Also makes your page load slower.   Clutter also means difficult to navigate.   Like your mother taught you; keep your room tidy.

Colours                :  The absolute worst offense:  white on black.    Goodbye blog, hello migraine.   Choose a colour palette that is easy on the eyes, and that highlights, not obscures your content.   If hot pink is your signature colour, save it for the accessories.    It all should blend.

Too Many Ads:   Yes, it would be nice to make some cash, but don’t go overboard.  A site that exclusively handles Product Review might be an exception, since people will be searching for the information.   Personally, I have never clicked on an Ad. 

Too Much Text:  Large, unbroken blocks of text are just plain difficult to read.   Readers will get tired of constantly scrolling.    Make use of the “jump break” feature, and/or consider adding images.  Also, consider having no more than 2-3 blog posts at a time on your homepage.   And please watch the fancy fonts:  if we cannot read it, what’s the point?

No Contact Information:  As intriguing as “Anonymous Blogger” sounds, you are far more likely to be successful if your audience makes a connection with you, and is able to contact you.   Thus, About Me and Contact Me pages are essential.   You do not have to use your real name, if security and privacy are issues, an alias is perfectly acceptable.  Your audience will be more likely to view you as a part of their community, and as an authoritative, trusted source.

Do-Do’s

If I had to pick the main ones that ensure a return visit, they would be:  overall design, navigation (is everything easy to find), subscription (are several options available with accessible icons), user-friendly comment system, and personality (the content). It’s frustrating discovering a blog you enjoy reading, but the design has you clicking away frequently, and then eventually, stop visiting.

 I have not spent a cent, yet, my blog does have many upgrades: “hacks” as they are referred to.     It has taken a lot of research, late nights, and the learning of a 3^rd language:  HTML/CSS.     Just as it has taken time finding my own voice regarding content; it has also taken time finding “the look” to complement that voice.   My first header was a picture of my sleeping baby (everyone say “ahhh”), and the second one was a banner with various clipart, which I made myself and Loved!   

Why a 3^rd change?  Despite the pride and love I felt, upon consideration, clip art did not seem in keeping with a 40 year old woman.  I worried it might appear “girlish”.  This might misrepresent me in terms of PR.  So I created a new one that now represents what I would truly do, given some time out.

I wanted to achieve the look of a professionally designed website, yet remain on the user-friendly Blogger platform.   Unfortunately, unless you choose a 3^rd party template design, Blogger does have some limitation in terms of design.    But if you are brave enough to dive into your Template and CSS styling codes (always maintain a “clean” backup file!!):  you can achieve all these things.  Personally, it has been much trial and error determining what works, and what doesn’t.    But fun too.

 If you like, you can click away briefly – do come back though!  - and view some of the changes I have made at my blog Time Out for Mom.   It’s okay….we’ll wait.    Here are the customizations you will see:

-           Navigation Bar above the Header with Images that link to my stand alone pages.  

-          Beneath header, a Featured Content Slider.   Go ahead and click an image

-          Before my Post Title, there is a feather image.  Post title text also customized.

-          Underneath my Post Title there is date, author, label and comment count image.   

-          Post- footer has also been stylized with a “Leave A Comment” image and Post Divider. 

-          Blog posts and all my widgets are in separate coloured boxes.  

-          Tabbed Menu widget for Labels, Archives, Blogroll – saves sidebar space

-          Fixed Back to top image bottom right corner

A lot more work than you thought?   I know, but you don’t want to be just another pretty face on the net.   You may want to be the next big thing in the Blogosphere, but the most important thing to keep in mind:   before they read it – they SEE it.   If you build it nice, they will come…… and they will return.

Some great (and often free) blog design/layout sites are:

The Cutest Blog on the Block

Shabby Blogs

Spice Up Your Blog

Some great add-ons, called Gadgets or Widgets can be found:

Mashable

Blogger Tips and Tricks

Some of the tricks I have used on my own blog:

Peek A Boo Blogger Nav Bar

Make Your Own Blog "Grab" Button

Featured Content Slider (not for the faint of heart – lots of coding!)

Blog Bulk:  amazing site for template customization (where I learned to put an image in front of my Post Title, a background image behind my sidebar titles, an image for comments and as line divider in post footer, and to house each blog post and each sidebar widget in separate and coloured boxes.)

     See how easy that was? Now you have the perfect platform to launch yourself into the blogshere and get all social. Rory is way braver than I, fearlessly re-working her entire site time and time again. That's why hers looks like it does and mine, well .... Thanks Rory for sharing all of you secrets and expertise.

     Tomorrow, another guest, Germaine from Kiddothings will walk us through setting up a Facebook fan page.

     Got something to say about social networking, by all means drop me a line and your post could be next.

Getting all Social

     Once upon a time..... okay, maybe it wasn't that long ago, being social meant your lucky shirt, or fave party frock, a group of friends, all in the same place and a night, a day, a weekend of fun. It didn't require a profile, a friend request or a tweet. Ahhh, good times. Life was so much simpler then.

     The WWW stepped in and changed all that. Then everyone HAD to have a cell phone. Now being social is media, networking. Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, Google +, LinkedIn, Reddit, StumbledUpon, Digg, Pinterest, Klout, RSS feeds and I'm sure there is a host of them I missed. Let's not forget the rise of the blog, that's why we're here after all. Living in the information/wireless/digital age.

     I've got my blog. I've got my Facebook page. I'm LinkedIn. I'm Google+ed. I have boards to Pin to. I just figured out how to schedule posts for the blog. I rarely update my Facebook status and only recently figured out, No I can't or don't know how to set up a separate Facebook page for it. LinkedIn keeps emailing me alerts about people I don't know and Google + although promising, requires yet more time to learn how it all goes together. I won't even start about Pin-ing. It can get a little overwhelming.

     I don't tweet, I don't own a cel phone. When I grow up and learn to take care of my toys OR they invent one that is surgically attached to my head, then I'll get yet another one.  Until recently I thought Twitter was a cell phone app. I must have known differently at some point but with Paris, Demi and Ashton flogging it in it's infancy, I took a pass and ignored it. Up until now.

     Why the change of heart?

      I'm exploring the blogsphere more. I can't tell you the number of times I either can't comment on or figure out how to follow a particular bit of the interweb. Blogger spoiled me. Everything I thought I wanted all tied up in one convenient, easy to follow package. Then people started adding 3rd party bits (Damn you IntenseDebate and your comment system that hates me) or linking to other places of interest where Blogger just won't let me follow. I bookmark everything, it's easy. I don't actually know how to use a reader program to follow along with a feed. Sad but true. My days of feeling even vaguely competent in cyberspace are over.

     Blogger is retiring GoogleFriendConnect. WTF. It was so easy to use. How will I bask in all of that bloggy love now? Why do I care who's following or if they're following.

    Your reasons may be different from mine but there is a real advantage to getting the word of my blog out there as widely as possible. I do family research. The more people my blog reaches, the better the chances of connecting with other relatives who have more pieces of the puzzle. And of course there is the basking. Who doesn't need a little more love?

     Where to turn? Ever Googled social media? Yeah, a bazillion hits. I'm still working on getting the social media buttons on my blog let alone figuring out how they all work. Am I alone in my quiet despair? I hope not. My solution, other than hours of reading about and testing all the different options. Why I'm turning to you. That's right all of you out there.

     February is social media month here in the Kitchen. Whether you're savvy or so far behind you think you're first like me, I want to hear about it. Comments are great, guest posts are even better. Email me if you'd like to participate. Maybe we can turn my flat line into a learning curve.

     Are you social?

Sweet Saturday

     Ah yes, Saturday again, what bits of deliciousness to share. Ha , fooled ya. I'm actually not posting a recipe, I'm passing the buck and linking up to three places you should alll visit.  Why you may ask?

     I am once again in the opening volleys of "the man cold". I thought it was just my allergies acting up but nooooooooooooo. Full on stuffed up head, runny nose, gravelly voice. I'm self medicating this evening. That's right, Dr Paul in preparation for a weekend of misery is writing this the night before, then hitting the schedule button. Then an evening of hot toddies. The lemon and honey have to be good for something right?
Tomorrow morning my sore head will just be the result of  my "homeopathic" remedies.

     Besides, I'm a little traumatised as well. Gearing up for Monday's Listicles post, topic supplied by Greta, I have come to a disturbing realization. This will of course require more self medicating. See you Monday. Thanks Greta. Thanks.

     First stop, Eggton and Kanye West's Apple Butter Idea Cake. I'm going to give this one a whirl tomorrow. After the meds wear off of course.

Breakfast cake. You heard me cake for breakfast

     All I have to do is dig through all the crap currently piled on my preserves to find the maple apple butter. Then, .....  While your over at Eggton, you have to look up the GRITS story, then read through all the comments. If that doesn't tickle your funny bone, check for a pulse.

     Then over to Amelia at Bon Appetempt for Juicy Satsuma Orange Cake. I'll be trying this one after the KW cake is gone. Should be good for Sunday.

Another breakfast cake. Health food really. It's got oranges in it.

     Now that I've fortified myself with all those nutrients from the apples and oranges a visit to Movita Beaucoup for a little indulgence, Caramilk Brownies and some very practical tips about your safety.

The perfect companion to all those resolutions I won't be keeping.

     Three stops for great food, mouth watering pictures and lots of laughs. Enjoy.

I'll Show You Mine

     That's right folks, I'm going to show you mine. Why, because Jennifer asked me to. Now before you think I've gone all Anthony Weiner on you and click away, no it's not that kind of post. But there are dirty bits.

      Jennifer tasked us with showing our blog spots. You know those serene, inspirational places we rest our weary selves and let the magic flow. Or in my case, my room, the man cave if you will.

     Cave is really the best word for it in many ways. It is in the basement. Long, kind of narrow and dim. My housemates have the prime real estate above ground. I do have two windows that let in an annoying amount of light when I try and sleep in. This works because I am separated from everyone by a floor, the buffer zone. I don't disturb them leaving for work at 5:30 am and they know better than to disturb me, usually.

     It has a dirt floor, okay, dirt on the floor. I've been trying to re organise the basement this week and have tracked stuff everywhere. You have been warned, on to the dirty bits.

     The long view. My room has gradually been overtaken with stuff. I swear it didn't start out this way. My drafting table was originally in the other room but had to relocate as I accumulated even more crap to fill my house. That smudge on the wall, those are footprints. I lean back in my chair as I'm reading and walk the wall. Strange but true. It really doesn't have that high contrast in RL, time to get the pressure washer out again.

     The original Pinterest board. I'm very visual and I tack up everything from the vision board to business cards. Anything that catches my interest, is vaguely important or makes me laugh.

     I can easily see the television, because I procrastinate even while procrastinating. An edge of the never made bed, just in case I need a bit of a lie down after all that exercise from tapping away at the keyboard.

     A little bed side reading. As you may have noticed books everywhere is a common theme in my decorating scheme. There is also a bookshelf right outside my bedroom door to hold yet more of my literary treasures and one right opposite my desk. The one opposite my desk also has the chocolate stash. Just in case I need a little energy boost.

     The top of my drafting table, covered with current projects and assorted homeless objects. The socks are the result of "Sock Hospital". Gathering up all of the one ofs and after two washings if the mate is still MIA, out they go. A tragic fate but I do try and at least wear matching socks. People look at you funny when you don't.

     Finally, the coffee station. There is almost always coffee on.Truly my oldest friend. No kidding, that coffee maker is about 25 years old. I have gone through five or six in the kitchen but this poor, battered, old thing keeps going on and on. Much like Titanic.

     The cinnamon is for my coffee. The Windex is evidence I really do clean, or just a prop. You decide.

     The big bag of white powder is not recreational. It's rice flour for a recipe. It is currently in my room because, A, I know where to find it and B, it looks very much like the corn starch, potato starch, icing sugar and meringue powder that currently reside in my kitchen cabinets in three containers. Yes that's right. Four into three. Still not sure which has been inadvertently combined. I'm sure it will be a lovely surprise at dinner one night.

     If I'm not in the mood for coffee, perish the thought, there is the small beer and beverage fridge just outside my door opposite the book shelf. A guy's gotta have options.

     The thing I have noticed after perusing the other entries, other than my utter lack of domestic skills, is solitude. I couldn"t get anything done if I couldn't shut my door and shut the world out. I can't work on the couch, in the kitchen, the living room ..... Way too many distractions.

     I do however share a love of old school writing in actual notebooks, the back of envelopes, napkins, anything I can put a pen or pencil to. Occasionally, in the summer, I jot things down outside relaxing in my garden. No Blackberry, other than the bush, no tablet, no laptop. Just good old fashioned pen and paper. I find it strangely relaxing. Probably because I can write much faster than I can type.

     Swing by Jennifer's and check out all the other hot blog spots. Now you've seen mine, let's see yours.

If I could have your attention please!

     Ahem, I have an announcement to make, two actually.

     First, January is family month here in the "Kitchen". 

     As you may or may not know a big part of the blog is dedicated to my family research. Along the way I've gathered pictures, stories and some of my far flung cousins. All of my information is in serious need of an update. I'll be working on that throughout January. There might not be a lot of new posts, but there will be a lot of new material.

 For Family Members

If you have pictures, stories or recipes you'd like to share, email me. I'll include any new material as I'm doing the overhaul.

I'm slowly gathering things to do a memorial page for Leo, like I've already done for Grandma and Grandpa Fisher. If you have anything you'd like to contribute, email me. I'm hoping to have it ready by about June so....

For Non Family Members (there have to be a few of you who aren't connected to my family in some way)

If you'd like to share stories about your family or how you have researched your family tree, email me. I'd be more than happy to have a few guest posts.

     Second, February is social media month.

     As Google retires Friend Connect, learning how to use the various social media applications becomes a bit more important. I'm looking for authors to guest post about their experiences. Everything from rants about it being ineffective to raves and tutorials on how to use them. I am a rank amateur as the first post of February will show so don't be shy. I have a few authors on board but welcome more.  Nothing would please me more than 28 guest posts to follow my introduction. Hopefully a learning experience for all involved. Email me if you're interested.

     Thanks for listening, now I'm off to sift through over a thousand pictures and 300 family emails. Sure I can get it all done by January 31st.

Comments? A Lurker Confesses

     There are few things that make a blogger's heart beat faster than comments. It shows people are reading and by taking the time to leave a little message, they are engaging the author. That's you.

     As a reader, I always scroll through the comments of posts I like. I often visit the sites of people who's insights or observations I connected, agreed or in some cases violently disagreed with.

     To successfully build readership of your blog, it is recommended to visit and comment on at least four different blogs a day. With the thousands out there, seems easy right?

     Apparently, I'm what is known as a "lurker" in the blogsphere. Sounds far more creepy than it is. A lurker is someone who reads but doesn't comment on other people's blogs. I confess, I'm guilty. I don't often comment. But there are reasons I swear.

     It's silly, I know, but leaving a comment on someones blog for the first time is like a first date for me. I get nervous. How to break the ice? You don't know them. They don't know you. Should I try and be witty? Be funny? What if they don't get my humour? I don't want to be an ass. Etc, etc, etc. I can't tell you the number of times I've sat, fingers over the keyboard and my brain freezes. Nothing, a complete blank. The more previous comments there are the less likely I am to add mine. Oh, the pressure.

     I want to leave a good impression.Their writing has engaged me on some level so I want them to think well of me too. Hopefully, they'll swing by my bit of cyberspace and a new follower or friendship ensues. No simple, "I like your blog ", will do. I know, way over thinking.

     Funnily enough, I appreciate all the comments I have received, even the short and sweet, I like your blog. I think no less or more of those than I do the longer ones. In my brain I know it doesn't matter. Does that mean it lets me off the hook and make commenting easy, not a chance. Stupid over analyzing brain.

     The other reason my comment quota is low is technical difficulties. I went through a long period over at my cousin's Time Out for Mom where I couldn't comment. Her comment system hated me. Every time I tried I got that wonderful "Error on page message". That has been now transferred over to Kiddothings. It's annoying because it's random and I really do want to leave a comment.

     A number of times I have tried to leave a comment but couldn't because I'm not a member of Wordpress, Blogher, Twitter etc etc etc. If I have to fill out a form, remember a new screen name and password just to leave a comment, not so much. I've done it, but not often. The same goes for entering captcha codes. I know why those safe guards are in place, that doesn't mean I don't find them frustrating. Like many of us, I blog and read on stolen time. Anything that slows that down.....

     Slowly but surely, I've been working on my "lurker" problem. Knowing there's a problem is half the battle, right?

     Any comments?

30 Days of Nights

     30 Days of Night, awesome vampire flick

not to be confused with this post, but I kind of know how this guy feels

     Hurray, today is the last day of NaBloPoMo for November. I did it-insert small happy dance. No prizes for me or my inspiring blogger Jennifer over at Just Jennifer. (I read about the contest over there and have followed along with her month of posts.) I guess we will just have to accept blogging as its own reward. (although a short inspirational email from the coordinators wouldn't be unappreciated)

     What to say about the experience?

     I was a little surprised how easy it was. Other than a few tense moments last night trying to publish my post, Blogger ate it twice???, writing everyday was a breeze. No crushing writer's block. I went through most of the month with 5 or 6 posts in draft. Having ideas has never been my problem.

     I finally learned how to properly use the scheduling button. Small feats of technical prowess.

     I completely enjoyed writing everyday. Rather than running out of ideas, the more I wrote, read, browsed, the more things just poured out of my poor over stimulated brain. I had a lot of fun with the Perils of Paul, Sweet Saturday and Savoury Sunday, finally got to do some of the blogging and family research posts I wanted and followed along with my cousin's Tuesday Coffee Chat. Throw in a few others, the SOC post being my favourite, and it was done. I have ideas for at least another month of posts. But.....

     I had no idea how much time it would take. I like to write, pen and paper write. Put a keyboard in front of me and all of a sudden things slow right down.... to a crawl. My nights for the last month have been taken up putting these grand ideas down. It represents hours and hours and hours of time. I've never been one of those jot down an awesome post in 15 minutes kind.

     I write, spellcheck, curse Blogger's version of spellcheck because it really isn't spellchecking English as I know it, edit, cut, copy and paste that part over to here so it makes more sense, expand on that, re read then remove that because now the post is just getting way too long, preview, save as draft, then start all over again tomorrow before I actually publish or schedule to publish. I blame past high school and university profs for instilling essay writing skills so deeply in my brain.

     Thank God I don't, as of yet, use any of the social media to push my blog. I don't tweet, stumble, link or any thing else or I would be sitting in front of my computer well into the new year.

     Throw in reading other people's posts, dropping a comment here and there and all of a sudden enormous chunks of my night are just gone. This whole month has just flown by. My house looks like a hurricane swept through it, there is laundry to do, my recipe files have to be resorted after an unfortunate clumsy incident, Christmas decorating to be done, holiday baking not even started yet, no shopping for holiday baking, over 300 family emails to go through to sort out family data and pictures, 70 recipe emails to re write and eventually post and on and on and on. Strangely, life did not pause so I could take the month off and write. Damn.

     I would love to write for a living, doing this has re affirmed that for me. I don't so unfortunately real life has got to re assert itself. I've got a bunch of catching up to do. Until Toronto goes through 30 days of night like Barrow (minus the vampire attack). I'm going to have to take a bit of a break and cut back on my online time. I'll miss it though. First thing on the adgenda, a night of beer and bad television.

      How do you find the time to do your blog posts?

I will follow...

     I was introduced to blogging a little over a year ago by my cousin, Rorybore. She has her own blog and I asked her about how best to set up my own little space on the web. I had ideas but everything hadn't come together just yet. I checked out hers before taking the plunge myself.

     Of course now that I had my own space, I wanted people to read it. I needed followers. I admit, it was not my first concern. The only people I thought would be interested in my personal blog were my family, some friends and a few co workers who wanted family recipes. They were the people I was writing for after all.

     I sent out my emails, letting people know what I was doing and voila, I had my followers. Exactly 15 to date. Am I disappointed? At first, a little. Who doesn't want to be popular? Now? Not a bit. Here's why.

     Not everyone chooses to follow publicly. I had a very pleasant surprise from a co-worker. We were chatting and she mentioned how much she enjoyed my blog. Then she preceded to talk about all the things on my blog. She was reading it quite thoroughly and I had no idea.

    I don't follow many blogs myself, less than a dozen all told. I usually book mark them. I check by hundreds from time to time, sometimes spending an entire night catching up, but a daily update, only a few. Truth be told, I have no idea how people find the time to keep up with a longer reading list.

     The other reason I follow so few is, even the blogs, or writers I like, not every post is of interest to me. Sometimes only one in a handful catches my interest, other times it's every post. That's a lot to try and winnow through when my time to read is limited. Life is busy for all of us.

     My blog touches on such a variety of subjects, researching family history, recipes, family photos, gardening and my rantings and ravings. I haven't got a focus for people to follow. I don't belong to a group who share similar experiences, like the SAHM community, I don't post recipes every week for the cooks out there or regularly provide research tips for those hunting their ancestors. The only real unifying factor in my blog is that I wrote it. I write about things that matter to me or catch my interest at the time. I can't honestly say I'm surprised my following is low. You never know what I'm going to go on about next. LOL

     Here is my advice, for what it is worth.

     If you want followers, give them a focus. Let them know what they can expect when they drop by for a visit. It isn't limiting at all. You can still write about all kinds of different things provided you keep a common thread. There are lots of networks, blog hops etc you can participate in to increase your following.

     If you are more like me, unfocused, maybe slightly out of focus, don't despair if your following is low. Followers does not equal readership. I get far more emails than comments about my blog. Relatives saying hi, researchers saying thanks, that kind of thing. It all depends what you want.

     Regardless of whether attracting followers is important to you or not, give them options to be able to follow along. The social media icons, the RSS feed and a way to contact you. (You'll notice I do not currently have all those things, I'm working on it LOL)

     Having a lot of followers is a great thing. Who doesn't like some recognition for your hard work? Not having them doesn't mean no one is listening. Who knows, it might even be me.

     Do you follow?